literature

survival tips

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In the average zombie movie, if you look for them, you'll notice people make several mistakes in trying to survive and fight. These can all be corrected with a bit of common sense to ensure survival. Here's a list of the common mistakes I've noticed and how to correct them easily.

1. COVER UP! This is my biggest complaint about the level of intelligence shown by the characters in alot of these movies. Sure, that outfit with the tank top, the cargo shorts and the fishnets might look sexy, but visible skin is an open invitation to being bitten. Layer up a little. Comfort and fashionability can take a backseat to keeping your ass intact and teeth mark free. Leather is good, motorcycle leathers are really good. My personal choice is a 3mm neoprene wetsuit, snake bite boots and a full face respirator with a pair of chemical gloves to top it off.

2. SELECT A DEFENSIBLE POSITION! If you're running for temporary cover, just long enough to catch your breath and scavenge up some gear, (like replacing the tank top and shorts) then anyplace will do. If on the other hand, you're finding a holdup position for the long term as a base of operations, then don't rush into the pretty old victorian house with the huge bay windows and balconies out the yingyang.   Pick a place with small windows and steel, or heavy wood doors. Something in light industrial, where all the windows are on the second floor would be great. A place where security was a major factor in the original design, so when it's locked up, it's locked up tight.

3. PUT SOME THOUGHT INTO YOUR WEAPON CHOICE! Firearms are wonderful for a short , finite conflict. If it's a long fight, you'll run out of bullets before the zombies run out of teeth, plain and simple. Swords and machetes are decent enough and look cool, spraying blood around all over the place. The problem with blades, is they're not efficient enough and they spray blood. If there's anybody around who isn't dressed for the occasion, any open wounds or their mouth or eyes might get splashed and you've got another zombie to deal with. All you have to do is incapacitate the brain, not cut off the head. Pick a cudgel, a shovel, a baseball bat, (or a cricket bat) a random, out of the scrap pile chunk of steel a couple of feet long. No reloading, you don't have to hit with alot of accuracy and the weight of the weapon does most of the work. Also you'll kill a zombie or at least make them incapable of fighting almost every time you hit one.

4. HAVE A BACKUP WEAPON HANDY! So, you've got all your skin covered and bite proof, you've found a good, safe place to hide and work from, you have a suitable weapon for the circumstances, but if it's not right there in your hand, or if you drop it in the crowd, make sure you've got something smaller at your waist. This is where a pistol would be perfect. Just a few shots to knock back whatever's too close. It'll give you those few needed seconds to bend over, or run to the corner and get your bashing stick.

5. DON"T HESITATE! This is the final and perhaps most important suggestion. If your friend/love interest/family member is bitten, don't hesitate to kill them before they turn on you. It's inhuman, but it's a necessity for your survival and the survival of anyone else you're working with in your little fortress. Once they're bitten, consider them to already be dead. One good whack with a louisville slugger will be alot easier to deal with than scurrying around fending off mommy's freshly mobile corpse trying to eat a chunk of you 5 minutes after you get her back inside and to relative safety. Bitten means dead. No exceptions.
watching another batch of zombie movies i just got, i noticed several tactical errors popping up over and over,... this is just some thoughts on how to avioid the mistakes people make in most movies (:
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I've had an idea that a shark suit would be the ultimate in body rotection as its both light weight and a human zombie jaw would have no way of biting though. plus if covered in the kind of freeze spray you use on ankles i the outside you might be able to pass without body heat being detected.