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:iconhostile-makeover: More from hostile-makeover


Submitted on
May 21, 2011
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In the average zombie movie, if you look for them, you'll notice people make several mistakes in trying to survive and fight. These can all be corrected with a bit of common sense to ensure survival. Here's a list of the common mistakes I've noticed and how to correct them easily.

1. COVER UP! This is my biggest complaint about the level of intelligence shown by the characters in alot of these movies. Sure, that outfit with the tank top, the cargo shorts and the fishnets might look sexy, but visible skin is an open invitation to being bitten. Layer up a little. Comfort and fashionability can take a backseat to keeping your ass intact and teeth mark free. Leather is good, motorcycle leathers are really good. My personal choice is a 3mm neoprene wetsuit, snake bite boots and a full face respirator with a pair of chemical gloves to top it off.

2. SELECT A DEFENSIBLE POSITION! If you're running for temporary cover, just long enough to catch your breath and scavenge up some gear, (like replacing the tank top and shorts) then anyplace will do. If on the other hand, you're finding a holdup position for the long term as a base of operations, then don't rush into the pretty old victorian house with the huge bay windows and balconies out the yingyang.   Pick a place with small windows and steel, or heavy wood doors. Something in light industrial, where all the windows are on the second floor would be great. A place where security was a major factor in the original design, so when it's locked up, it's locked up tight.

3. PUT SOME THOUGHT INTO YOUR WEAPON CHOICE! Firearms are wonderful for a short , finite conflict. If it's a long fight, you'll run out of bullets before the zombies run out of teeth, plain and simple. Swords and machetes are decent enough and look cool, spraying blood around all over the place. The problem with blades, is they're not efficient enough and they spray blood. If there's anybody around who isn't dressed for the occasion, any open wounds or their mouth or eyes might get splashed and you've got another zombie to deal with. All you have to do is incapacitate the brain, not cut off the head. Pick a cudgel, a shovel, a baseball bat, (or a cricket bat) a random, out of the scrap pile chunk of steel a couple of feet long. No reloading, you don't have to hit with alot of accuracy and the weight of the weapon does most of the work. Also you'll kill a zombie or at least make them incapable of fighting almost every time you hit one.

4. HAVE A BACKUP WEAPON HANDY! So, you've got all your skin covered and bite proof, you've found a good, safe place to hide and work from, you have a suitable weapon for the circumstances, but if it's not right there in your hand, or if you drop it in the crowd, make sure you've got something smaller at your waist. This is where a pistol would be perfect. Just a few shots to knock back whatever's too close. It'll give you those few needed seconds to bend over, or run to the corner and get your bashing stick.

5. DON"T HESITATE! This is the final and perhaps most important suggestion. If your friend/love interest/family member is bitten, don't hesitate to kill them before they turn on you. It's inhuman, but it's a necessity for your survival and the survival of anyone else you're working with in your little fortress. Once they're bitten, consider them to already be dead. One good whack with a louisville slugger will be alot easier to deal with than scurrying around fending off mommy's freshly mobile corpse trying to eat a chunk of you 5 minutes after you get her back inside and to relative safety. Bitten means dead. No exceptions.
watching another batch of zombie movies i just got, i noticed several tactical errors popping up over and over,... this is just some thoughts on how to avioid the mistakes people make in most movies (:
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weirdyaoi123 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012
I've had an idea that a shark suit would be the ultimate in body rotection as its both light weight and a human zombie jaw would have no way of biting though. plus if covered in the kind of freeze spray you use on ankles i the outside you might be able to pass without body heat being detected.
hostile-makeover Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012
that sounds like a good idea, depending on whether or not they hunt by sensing body heat,...
weirdyaoi123 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012
mainly its ment to be by noise, but if you close enough for them to sense a change in the ambient air tempreture then they could could find you,depending on if there still@fresh@ enough for the muscles to have flesh memory of heat. Also,what would be your long term plan for survival. I'EVE GOT MY PLAN,YOU GET YOURS?
hostile-makeover Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012
i live in a coastal city, which makes things alot easier than most people realize. vancouver is rife with wild edible food, and overgrown garden waste, so long term survival is not a major challenge. between pigeons, other small game and fish, meat is easy, i'm good with tools and there's plenty to scavenge, so firtifying and maintaining a location is easy, while everyone else is scrambling around fighting over cans of dogfood, and trying to either get out of the city or have wars with each other or large packs of zombies, i'll be comfortable, wear bite proofing, not go hungry and be in no real immediate danger.
weirdyaoi123 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012
long term I'm thinking windpdriven yaucht. Alot of the them use water reclaimtaion and have solar paneling, so rationed power would be available. Also any with a pool can easily be used for growing food when water replaced by soil. Also fishing can give both protein and important oils.
I'm also certain of the skills have have with finding wild food. I live in england, so there is plenty of it abotu. You don't wannt to know how many sites I've found that have more wild edible vegetation growing than commercial.
Eventually its island life on one of the smaller islands around englan,far enough out to be easily defendable, but close enough for emergency runs.
hostile-makeover Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012
sounds like a good plan,... i think i'm more worried about the religitard apocalypse/new dark ages lately than i am about zombies,... but the same plan could apply, with very slight modifications,... like adding a few poly starlite plates to the armor, and a layer of kevlar instead of the neoprene,... the rest,.. like kill them as soon as they see you, avoid them as much as reasonably possible, turning the house into a fortress,... that all still applies,... and as technology goes downhill, i'll be ok. i've learned everything from making stoneage flint tools, to bronze and iron age smelting and smithing, to early waterwheel technology, all the way to industrial revolution,... plus things like thermite bombs, sourcing salt petre and sulphur for gun powder, etc,... seems like we'll both be ok, no matter what happens (:
weirdyaoi123 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
the one thing you need to know in a situation like that?
First aid and medical knowledge. Doctors will always be needed. I've taken every first aid course I can and even know how to deal with aputation to childbirth complications. I also belave that the best weapon in any long range situation or persnel protection would be a arm mounted slingshot/crossbow. Esay to build,easy to fix
hostile-makeover Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
medical info is always useful, yes,... but long term,.. i'm guessing you're talking about jorge style, slingshot crossbows, that he makes for the slingshot channel on youtube,... one problem with the plan,... rubber has a shelf life,... after 3-5 years, it's completely useless, after 10-20 years, it's dust,... unless you can rebuild or redesign those things to use leaf or coil springs then it's not much more than a paperweigh within a couple of years, and maybe as little as a couple of months if you're using it constantly... it's not like you can go to the hardware store and buy more. if you can figure out how and where to tap a rubber tree, cook the sap into latex and extrude it into bands, then you're set, otherwise, there will be NO MORE RUBBER IN THE WORLD, inside of 20 years,... learn to make a bow, use an atlatl, use a spear,... long range is for hunting for food anyway, you wouldn't want to waste that on zombies,... as long as you know if they can't hit you, you don't NEED to hit them,...
(1 Reply)
ashnkatt Featured By Owner May 21, 2011  Student General Artist
aha so, true.
xXPSYCH0S0CI4LXx Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
these i have noticed to, it's weird how they can get away with it.
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