Koronin's Candy part 5

"Engineer's log," Anne began recording, "got dropped off on the Scot platform, orbiting a planet called Sanctuary a week ago to hammer out a trade agreement with the director here, while the rest of the crew's back on regular patrol," she offered the portable log, "Qwraal and Vaj should be doing this crap, but the director's an engineer, who insists on dealing with other engineers whenever possible and he's a retired admiral so people generally give him what he wants," she complained of the situation, "on the up side, he's a fair man and runs an honest scrap yard, plus he's an excellent engineer and all in favor of giving us the parts we need in exchange for whatever salvage we can offer. Billy should be here with Gumdrop to pick me up in the next few minutes and taxi me back to Candy," she closed.

"Bill to Anne. Ready to go?" The Liaison's voice came over her comm badge.

"Speak of the devil," Anne idly remarked before tapping her badge, "take me home," she replied before the shimmering lights surrounded her and she vanished, coalescing again aboard Lollipop, "I thought 'Pop' was down with circuit instabilities?" she remarked surprisedly of the vessel.

"I got bored," Billy shrugged, "did some tinkering for a few days. She seems fine now. Seven hours of warp four and she's still in one piece," he proudly grinned of his achievement.

"I'll give her a look once we're back on Candy," Anne chuckled, "but it looks like you did a good job so far," she admitted.

"Just read the manuals and followed the instructions is all," Kreugar smiled on.

Two hours later, the interior lights went out for no discernible reason, then came back on again. Then Lollipop dropped out of warp for three seconds before the engines and drive kicked back on at maximum speed for a couple of minutes, without any navigation. Next, warp cut out altogether and minor systems stared going in and out of service. Finally, the impulse engines went to maximum with no prompting and couldn't be shut down.

"You said you fixed it!"Anne screamed at Billy as they struggled with the controls on Lollipop. Sirens wailed, warnings sounded and alert lights flashed on and off while the tiny vessel lurched onward.

"I thought I did fix it!" Billy screamed back at the spider as he hammered his fist against the helm causing it to work momentarily. Then something else stopped working.

"Warning. Atmospheric containment has been breached," the warp tug's computer informed them.

"How long can you hold your breath?" Anne sneered as she broke out a tool kit and started crawling halfway into a hatch amid sparks and smoke.

"Long enough to set down!" the liaison replied, "industrialized culture, breathable atmosphere. This'll do," he declared of the closest planet he could find.

"Whose planet is it?" Anne asked without looking away from her work.

"Who gives a shit? It's where we're landing in half a minute," the Lieutenant decided, still fighting with the console as he entered the atmosphere.

They came through the upper atmosphere and found a thick layer of smog coating most of the inhabited landscape below them. Wrestling with the controls, Billy managed to bring his little ship to rest in a scrub forested area, roughly two kilometers out of town. The vessel skipped, skidded and bounced over the uneven terrain, bouncing the engineer across the floor until Lollipop came to a stop and half buried herself in the side of a hill.
Billy and Anne opened the hatch and a waft of smoke left the vehicle with them.

"Well," Billy decided after a deep breath and a wince at his sore ribs, "next time you need a taxi, ask for Twrgaath," he chuckled to his shipmate.

"Next time I'm off ship," Anne decided of their predicament, "don't try to fix anything,"she suggested with a smile, just happy to be alive as she pulled out a tricorder.

"What's it say?" Kreugar asked of the engineer's readings.
Anne stopped looking at the tricorder. She put it next to her ear for a second, then shook it a couple of times before looking at the display again.

"It says it's broken," the spider declared as she tossed the dead instrument over her shoulder and back into the wreck of the Lollipop.

"Guess we're fucked for that then," Billy shrugged with a smile, "let's go check out the locals here abouts," his cockney accent suggested as he began walking toward the smog and civilization.

The pair heard what sounded like a riot as they approached the corner of a building and peeked around it to see what was going on. They saw a number of humans with oddly colored and drastically sculpted hair, multiple piercings and wearing variously ripped and restructured clothing with a multitude of slogans. They were facing off against a line of organized military or constabulary troops of some kind, carrying plexiglass shields and armed with projectile weapons. Anne noticed that the screams from the non military mob, matched Billy's accent as they hurled makeshift fire bombs and rocks at their opponents.

"What in the?" Anne began to say, but couldn't even imagine what to complete her sentence with.

"I think we might have died in the crash and I'm in heaven," Billy smiled quietly as they watched.

"Huh?" Anne begged, still at a loss for words.

"They're punks!" the liaison explained, "it's gotta be parallel planet development, or some kind of temporal shift we hit or something!" he excitedly went on, "we're in England! This's gotta be part of the hundred days or somfink!" his accent broke into full bore.

"You're going to have to explain this better Kreugar. I'm not up on earth's social history," the spider rolled out in a deadpan.

"Back to the tug 'en," Billy suggested, "best get dressed the part. Prime directive an' all," he smiled,confusing Anne even more as he turned to leave. The engineer just gave up and followed with a shake of her head.

"Anything in here work?" the Brit asked as they entered the crashed warp tug.

"Gimme a few minutes and I'll check," Anne sighed, looking around the ship's interior, "we've got the replicator as long as we don't try anything too high density," she decided after a second of thought as Billy was digging in his oversized kit bag for something.

"Ain't I glad I bring you everywhere," he declared with a broad smile as he drew a beaten old baseball bat from his luggage.

"I said we've got the replicator,"Anne repeated, slapping her cohort on the back of his shaved head to get his attention.

"Great!" Billy grinned as he turned to face the engineer, "we need clothes. Can't rightly go out there like this," he explained waving to point out their starfleet uniforms, "we got anything for sensors, or the computer you think?" he went on, stepping toward the replicator and punching in some commands. Anne just sighed again and went to work.

Half an hour later, the engineer crawled out from under the command console.

"We've got sensors, short range comm, nav and the computer. Not much else though," she offered, "not without parts and tools anyway," she decided of their predicament. She lost her train of thought when she looked up and saw how the liaison was dressed. Billy was in a pair of olive green, canvas pants, with the cuffs tucked into tightly laced up, black leather boots, with round toes. The boots reached almost to his knees and the pants were topped with a wide black leather belt. He'd replaced his uniform jacket and shirt with a sleeveless tee shirt bearing red, white and blue stripes at crossing angles, intersecting from eight different directions.

"Perfect!" he beamed, "we can get the local news and find out what year it is, plus check for temporal anomalies," he listed as he sidled past Anne and sat down at his console to check their location.

"What happened to your clothes?" the confused spider finally asked.

"You like?" the liaison giggled, "yours are over there," he pointed to a pile of folded garments and boots sitting on the bunk. Anne looked at the clothing in dismay.

"Can't I just stay here?" the spider begged worriedly.

"Hey, it's for your sake we're going," the liaison decided, "I could retire here happy if you wanna stay, but if you want parts and tools, 'en we gotta look out 'ere," his accent came back in full.

Crestfallen, Anne changed clothes.

"I look ridiculous," the spider offered, wearing boots alike Bill's, a pink skirt, puffing out to all sides from the masses of black crinoline beneath it, a bright pink turtleneck, a biker style leather jacket and gloves, the jacket coated variously in decorative but gaudy slogans, buttons and chrome spikes. The outfit was topped off with oversized 'jackie O' style black sunglasses.

"You look great," Billy assured her, "it was a pain finding something to suit the style and still cover you up like," he offered.

The spider took off the sunglasses, threw them across the inside of the ship, picked up her old style welding goggles and used them instead, wearing a very unamused expression the whole time.

"That works too," the liaison admitted with a shrug, "now for the news," he tried to entice, pointing to the display above his console. Anne walked over  to read  it , experimentally pushing down the edges of her skirt and finding that the garment just sprung back to its original position no matter what she did, "you forgot the knee pads," Bill noted with disapproval, "can't have any blokes checkin' out your legs and noticin' there's four of 'em," he scolded as he saw the last piece of the outfit still sitting on the bunk.

"This news of yours better be damned interesting Billy," Anne growled as she retrieved the knee pads and put them on before finally reaching the console. Both were still wearing their MS comm badges, more out of habit than anything else, but the pins fit in well with the rest of the ensemble.

In the news, it was a case of parallel planetary development and was listed in the computer's navigation maps. On this version of earth, the European and North American union accords were formed during the cold war after WW2. During 1977, an economic crash brought about a rebellion against the EU in the British Isles. The British people declared sovereignty and tried to return the United Kingdom to the Monarchy. Now it was 1979 and the rebellion was still being fought by the EU and NAU ground forces against the ill equipped but determined 'punks', many of whom were raised and trained by former British military and even more of whom were former British military. Most of the royal family had been captured by EU forces, but the Queen Mother was still at large and was suspected of being directly involved in terrorist activities.

"And you want us to go out and look for something to fix this boat with, when there's a war going on?" the engineer chimed after reading all the gathered data.

"No," Billy decided after a thoughtful pause, "you want to and I'm stuck with it because you're the superior officer," he concluded.

"So you want to actually go out and get involved in the fighting," Anne palmed her forehead in defeat as Billy smiled silently at her.

"Look, just figure out what we need to get the ship off planet and we'll go in town in the morning and see if there's anything useful what we can scavenge," the cockney accent conceded.

The pair managed to pull together a handful of supplies for their mission. Along with his baseball bat, Billy had a working phaser rifle with a half full power cell and a week worth of ration bars, slung over his shoulder in the big black kit bag. Anne, over the course of the evening, cobbled together a working tricorder out of the  three dead ones aboard the Lollipop and filled her backpack with a toolkit, two weeks of her nutrient gel from the replicator, a fully charged hand held disruptor and a medical kit that she was sure she'd need at some point, considering the liaison's current bravado. After a fitful sleep, due to the slightly odd angle at which the small vessel sat, the two left with the coming of dawn and headed for what turned out to be London.

"No way we can get the guns off the ship and bring 'em?" Billy asked jokingly as they left the tiny wreck behind themselves.

  Quietly rounding a corner and entering the streetscape, Billy and Anne managed to bypass the ongoing battle between the EU forces and the locals, bringing them closer to what might be called a civilian area. They saw a more absolute squalor than any people should have to live in. The streets were littered with debris from recently past battles and people of every age and stripe were working alone and together to prepare for more fighting to come. Anne realized quickly that their chosen disguises fit well with the local populace regardless of age.

"Oi!" a young man with half his head shaved and a safety pin through his cheek called to them  rather loudly, "you my shift off?" he asked Billy, pointing to Kreugar with a cricket bat as he walked in their direction.

"Nah mate," Billy replied, "we just in, where's good to start?" he asked of the man who was apparently on duty doing something.

"Windsor," the man smiled, rolling up the sleeve of his tee shirt to show a tattoo, "bring the bird. She'll get in the medics or something," he nodded toward Anne.

"Right," Billy nodded in reply and they headed in the direction the strange man had noted with his bat.

"What's HM QE QM mean? The engineer asked quietly of the tattoo the fellow looking for his shift off had shown them.

"Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, Queen Mother," Billy listed as they turned a corner and came within view of Windsor Castle. Billy was awed by the sight. He'd seen the place as a child once. In his proper time the castle was a museum. This one was alive. The guards were posted at the gate as they should be, but their uniforms were hardly what he'd remembered, nor were they what he'd read and seen photographs of.

"And what did the guy mean calling me a bird?" Anne wondered further, still occasionally trying to push her skirt down out of the way of her hands.

"It just means you're a girl," the liaison idly commented as they drew nearer the gates and their guards. The queen's guards were at perfect attention, but carried only wooden clubs rather than rifles. They, like the rest of the locals were punks. The castle grounds were strewn with tents and leantos and perhaps over a hundred people of all ages milled among the camp. Most of those present were women and children.

"Morning," one of the guards stepped forward as they came to the gates, "apologies ma'am, sir," he noted kindly, "but we gotta check you for weapons and we'd be much obliged if you hand any over willingly beforehand," he offered with an honest grin. Billy and Anne looked to one another worriedly due to both of their weapons.

"Right mate," Billy nodded, putting his bag on the ground and opening it up. He pulled out the phaser rifle and the bat, setting them before the guard and stepping away. He motioned for his shipmate to do the same. Anne pulled out her disruptor and laid in on the ground.

"Might fake the EU out with those at a distance," the guard chuckled, "take the kids toys in if you like, but we'll keep the bat here for you," he decided, sorry about the rest of the check," he added as he began to frisk Billy, "so you here to sign up, or just for the shelter?" he asked conversationally.

"Here to help if we can," Billy declared as he was frisked, "I'm a chemist, Anne 'ere's an engineer," he offered.

"And you're clean as I can tell," the guard decided, "Your turn Miss," he turned to Anne, "if you like, we can call out another bird to check you, out of respect and all,"he offered the strange lady.

"It's all good," Anne spoke for the first time in earshot of one of the locals as she put her arms out to her sides and waited.

"Now we got a problem see," the guard sighed, "can't have a Yank in there with the Queen mum," he declared of the spider's accent.

"Is there an higher up we can talk to," Billy asked, "to clear her like? Look lad, we got intel and medical supplies to back us up. Just lemme talk to whoever's the biggest wig you got. It's all I ask," he begged quietly so as not to draw the attention of passers by.

"You seem an honest sort," the guard begrudgingly allowed, "give us a tic, I'll see what we can do," he grinned before calling someone toward them from inside the gates. The young boy he'd beckoned scurried off like a shot after a short few orders were given to him.

After less than a minute of waiting, an elderly man in what might have been an officer's uniform in the first world war marched, bent back across the lawns and to the gate as proudly as his advanced age allowed, white hair, glasses and all.

"Unlock this confounded thing Sargent!" the elder commanded.

"Of course Field Marshal," the guard who'd sent for him replied, amid unlocking the gates and opening them for the old man's passage.

"What's all this about some geezer bringin' a Yank bird 'ere then?" the old officer demanded, to which the Sargent pointed out Billy and Anne.

"Sir," Billy automatically stood to attention and saluted a ranking officer out of starfleet reflex.

"That's a Naval salute," the elder told the Sargent as he pointed to Billy, "long trained for it to come up that stiff. I thought they'd bombed all you boys to hell and back when they took the harbours," he smiled to Billy, "I'll hazard you was captured and your Yank bird helped you escape. Am I right?" he asked of the pair.

"Right as rain Sir," billy replied, still stiffly at attention and eyes locked forward. The old war veteran hobbled himself up to the liaison and gave him a swift jab in the gut with his ancient fist. Billy barely flinched. Though admittedly the Field marshal's punch was not very strong.

"That's a soldier!" the old man declared facing his gate guards and pointing back to this new comer, "P.O.W. , starved down to, can't be more an 135 pounds and he's still in rank and file!" he declared of Billy, "they're both in Sargent. Good call on sending for me," he patted the guard on the shoulder and waved for Billy and Anne to follow him inside the castle grounds.

"Here mate," the Sargent got Billy's attention as they walked past him, "don't wanna lose this," he smiled, offering the baseball bat back to its owner.

"Thanks," Billy smiled as he accepted his weapon and continued to follow the old officer's slow pace. The elder led them to a beaten looking old shack, where there was another guard at the door, who saluted and stood to attention as they approached. Entering the shack, they saw a heavy, old oak table and chairs. The table was covered with a china tea set, several maps and paperwork.

"Name, rank and serial number?" the old man demanded of Billy.

"Kreugar, William, Sir. Lieutenant, Sir, 101514214, Sir," Billy listed off, returned to attention.

"101," the old man remarked, "taken out of a welsh harbour then and who are you?" he turned now to the engineer.

"My name's Anne Nancy," the spider replied.

"No decorum," the old man sighed, "civilian contractor I suppose?" he wondered of the Yank.

"Yeah. I'm an engineer," Anne admitted.

"That might be useful," the old man admitted begrudgingly, "and a chemist. Apothecary?" he turned again to Billy.

"Yes Sir. And ordinance Sir," Billy offered. He seemed almost happy to be standing at attention before this old man.

"That'll definitely be useful. Are you both willing to swear allegiance to her Majesty?" he demanded of both.

"Yes Sir,"Billy answered first. To this, Anne stood at attention, saluted and joined in.

"Yes Sir," the spider agreed.

"Excellent. I'm Field Marshal Haigge," the elder announced, "Lieutenant Kreugar, you are hereby transferred in commission from the royal navy to the infantry. No change in rank. You, Anne, follow him. He's responsible for you. Report to logistics immediately," Haigge ordered.

"Sir!" Billy saluted one last time before turning on his heel and marching out the door. Anne followed silently.

"Hey lad. Where's logistics at?" the liaison asked of the old man's door guard.

Logistics was a large pavilion tent on a flat spot of ground on the lawns. As the pair of newcomers moved through the small crowd they saw all the horrors of war. These grounds, they discovered, were a refugee camp, a military base of operations and a hospital all at once.

"So what's a Yank?" Anne half whispered in Billy's ear as they walked through the camp.

"Yankee. It means an American. The enemy," Billy quietly told her, "don't worry. Next one who mentions, I'll say you're Canadian. Similar accent," he offered to calm the engineer's worry.

"So where do we find parts for the tug?" the spider now begged, beginning to lose her temper at Billy's play acting.

"Logistics should know where everything in the city is," the liaison tried to calm her.

Reaching logistics and entering through the open flap on the tent, they noticed about a dozen men and women, sorting through piles of salvage and dividing it up into wooden crates, while yelling off numbers to one another. A few of them were writing everything down on paper. Anne was a little confused at this lack of technology, but impressed with the relative efficiency of the system, considering the local state of affairs.

"New recruits," one woman piped up at seeing the pair enter, "I got 'em Tommy," she assured one of the other clerks as she came to aid the newcomers, "I'm Susie," she introduced, lowering her clip board and offering her hand.

"Siouxsie Sioux!" Billy declared, taking the young woman's hand in both of his, "I know who you are! I'm a huge fan!," he declared giddily.

"Good to be remembered mate," the woman pulled back a little, "but we only got one album out before all this," she laughed at the man's enthusiasm, "so who are you then and what do you need?"

"Lieutenant Bill Kreugar, reporting for duty at Field Marshal Haigge's orders," the liaison happily informed one of his idols, "this is Anne Nancy. She's Canadian, before you think she's a Yank," he made sure to add.

"Nice to meet you both," Siouxsie giggled at the minor excitement, "you bringin' in or takin' out?" she asked of the pair, noticing their kit bags.

"We just signed up," Anne interjected, "nobody's bothered to tell us what's all going on so far. So do you have a minute?" she asked of the girl with the spiky dark hair, "I'll tell you what I know if you do the same for me," she offered.

"It's hectic, I know," Siouxsie admitted with an odd sneer, "but it'll just get worse when the EU decides to make another push. Have a seat for a minute then," she offered, waving down and sitting herself on the dirt. Billy and Anne joined her, cross legged on the ground.

Billy explained everything he could as vaguely as possible, including the bits that the field marshal had assumed, leaving a lot to his hostess' imagination.

"Well, with you out since the attack on Wales, you've missed quite a bit," Siouxsie admitted, taking a deep breath and thinking of where to begin, "They started in Wales and Scotland, took all the harbours. Knocked our Navy back to nothing fast in the first year," she began, "once the boats were gone, they just started pushing in on shore like. Herding us back. They're tryin' to lock us in and starve us out peaceful like," she sneered at the idea of the enemy tactics, "we got radio, tells us they're still fighting in a few pockets like this one. But we're all always fallin' back. They had control of most of the military bases from the get go, so we can't even find proper guns to fight 'em off with," the singer admitted.

"We got better than their guns," Billy hinted, "but only if you got a factory," he suggested, opening his kit bag to show Siouxsie the phaser rifle.

"It's no time for a joke lad," the woman chuffed out half a laugh at the plastic toy she saw before her.

"No jokes ma'am," Bill insisted, "it's real," he informed her.

"Right. Prove it. Shoot something," Siouxsie taunted.

Billy looked around for some safe target in the tent. He chose a folding chair a few meters away , raised his weapon and fired. A beam of yellow erupted from the rifle and the chair vanished in a flash of light. Siouxsie's laughter stopped dead and all else in the tent stood in shock.

"Do you got a factory?" The liaison asked more directly this time. Anne grabbed Billy's shoulder and dragged him close to her ear.

"Remember that prime directive you mentioned earlier?" she reminded the starfleet officer, "you really want to give them a three hundred year jump in technology?" she begged angrily but kept it quiet.

"Excuse us for a moment," Billy smiled to Siouxsie then stood and sidled over to a corner, dragging Anne to her feet and alongside him, so they could speak in relative privacy, "prime directive is so we don't interfere in the natural development of society right?" he asked of the engineer.

"Right! And so we don't get our asses thrown in prison for breaking it!" Anne seethed back to him in near silence.

"This society ain't developin'!" Billy insisted in a harsh whisper, "they're being starved out! This is mass fucking genocide!" he informed his engineer, throwing open another tent flap to show her the indignant hell that his countrymen were forced to exist in. Anne lowered her face from shame.

"If we can get a crew out into the woods and drag back what we brought with us," the spider called out to Siouxsie, "then you'll be armed and fed," she promised.

"What have you got in the Immediate?" Tommy asked, coming over from his work after Billy's display.

"Get me ferrous oxide dust, powdered aluminum and as many magnesium strips as you can find," Billy listed off, "can you get any ice?" he added.

"Sure, what for?" Tommy asked, listing the requested items on his clip board.

"Thermite bombs," Anne admitted to the clerk, "that's about as low tech as you can get and still be effective," she complimented of the liaison's plan.

Other than Anne's nutrient packs, everything the pair had brought with them was put to the use of the entire camp. They were given a tent for quarters and amenities consisted of a shower once a day, a meal once a day and whatever medical care the camp could provide. The medical care was greatly improved by the use of a 24th century emergency first aid kit and Lieutenant Kreugar was hailed as an expert healer. Haigge was hesitant, but allowed Anne to be the first woman out on the salvage runs with the men. They managed to haul back the warp tug with the aid of a flatbed truck and under cover of night. After taking a few days to master the use of a pencil, Anne began writing out engineering notes, theories and instructions. She managed to complete several hundred pages and handed them all off to the locals.

The excuse they gave for their hugely advanced technology, was that Anne had been an engineer on several top secret projects, back in Canada. Considering the state of the world politically, the locals bought it.

"What all have you given them?" Billy asked her one night after the Lollipop had been stripped out almost to a shell.

"Replicator, power conversion designs, and all the weapon and shield data, but not the engines," the spider admitted with a sigh, "do you think it'll do them any good?" she wondered of the situation they'd put themselves and jolly old England into.

"I think when they get pushed, now at least they'll be able to push back," the liaison offered as his friend took off her goggles and gloves.

"Sorry to interrupt," Haigge's voice came from the entrance to their tent, followed by the man himself. He gazed intently at Anne's eight eyes and chitinous claws with no change of expression, "I should have guessed," he sneered, "still, at least she's not a Yank," he smiled, "she wants to meet you both, considering all of recent," he went on, "come on then," he added, turning to exit the tent.

"Sorry, who wants to meet us?" Anne begged, getting her goggles and gloves back in place before leaving the tent.

"Her Majesty of course. Who else?" Haigge chuckled at the question.

They followed the old man across the grounds and toward the castle. Anne looked around and noticed that the camps conditions had greatly improved over their week and a half there. She also noticed a tattoo on Billy's shoulder for the first time. It read HM QE QM. This made her smile.

"Eu doesn't bother much with intel on us here," the Field marshal pointed out, "They think we're just a bunch of rag tag punters, swinging sticks at them and tossing the occasional molotov cocktail for good measure. Won't they be in for quite a surprise tomorrow," he admitted with a dark grin as they entered the castle itself. There were a few dozen women and boys in the entrance hall, working an assembly line by hand. They were building phaser rifles and disruptors in mass quantity, with the parts coming out of the Lollipop's replicator which had been wired into the building's generators. Having never been inside the castle, Billy and Anne were surprised at the speed of production. In the next large hall they entered, men were running grinders and powdering aluminum and rust into large containers, then measuring it out into small metal cylinders to make thermite bombs, which would remain inert until they were lit over ice. The next room was lined with refrigerators and freezers, where the ice was being produced and harvested.

"I'm tired of this poop! Where's my tea?" a gravelly female voice came from beyond the next set of doors as they were opened, "here they are," the little old lady in the blue dress smiled as they entered her presence. She pushed her honour guard aside and started waddling toward them happily.

Billy's face went white and he instantly bowed to one knee, grabbing Anne by the collar and pulling her down alongside him.

"Get up, get up. None of that yet," the kindly woman insisted of her guests, "You've done us a great service Lieutenant, Both of you have," she offered as the pair returned to their feet.

Haigge leaned in and whispered something into the Queen mum's ear.

"Oh dear," Her Majesty spoke, "well at least we know what side she's on and I don't care why," she informed the Field Marshal, "it would please us if you were comfortable enough to unmask yourself in our presence Miss Anne," the Queen Mum directed of the spider, "go on, take 'em off. Not like you're the first alien to land here, but at least you were kind enough to share with us. The rest all destroyed everything they brought, no matter whose doorstep they were on," she chuckled as Anne finally, hesitantly lifted her goggles, "that's different. Last bunch there was a bloke who looked like he had a bug's arse growing out his forehead," she chuckled, "the kingdom owes you both a great debt," the gravelly voice spoke with a strange eloquence, "we would like to repay that favor in what meager way we are able," she offered, snatching a sword from one of her guards, rather rudely because the fellow didn't think to offer it to her fast enough.

"Now's when you kneel," Haigge half whispered to the pair, who immediately bowed before the armed matriarch.

"By the power vested in me, by the people of the United Kingdom," the Queen Mum spoke as she tapped the shoulders of her most recent subjects with her borrowed sword, "I name you both Knights of the realm and entail to you all rights, duties and responsibilities therein," she recited, hanging medals around the pair's necks, "rise now Sir William Kreugar and Dame Anne Nancy," she completed of the ritual, "there now, all done," she smiled as she returned the sword to her guard and the pair rose to their feet a little shocked at the turn of events, but happy none the less, "would you care for some tea now?" she asked of her guests, "I'll be tossing a shot of brandy in mine. Feel free to do likewise," she asided to them as she waddled along to her table and chairs in the corner. Billy and Anne just followed, still in shock. They enjoyed a lovely, polite cup of tea with Her Majesty and were told of the next morning's battle plans, before being sent on their way to prepare.

Morning came with a bugle call at dawn and the entire camp sprang to life. This more than anything was a shocking change from the usual routine. Runners had been out all night to different districts of the city, arming the standing guards and lookouts with the new ordinance and briefly explaining to them how to use the weapons. Orders had all been delivered as covertly and inconspicuously as possible to all fronts and the troops here and in the rest of the city, were prepared for the first big push back.

Everyone, including Anne and Billy, gathered just inside the gates and stood before the Field Marshal, at attention and awaiting orders. A few elderly women and men had herded all the young children off to one side and were apparently going to remain behind during the battle.

"As you all no doubt know by now," Haigge began, "we're on the offensive for the first time today, since this whole war started," he informed the troops.

"On your bike Haigge," the Queen Mum's gravelly voice loudly ordered as she made her way through the crowd toward the old man. Her subjects parted for her immediately, "It's my bloody island and I'll be damned if anybody else is going to fight for it without me," she declared as she reached the head of the crowd. She was toting a phaser rifle over her shoulder, had a disruptor strapped to her waist and was carrying one of her swords of state. All atop her official black and red robes, "I'll not have you lot risking lives for me, if I'm not doing the same for you," she informed the crowd, who cheered and grinned at the old woman's pluck, "you've all got your orders, right?" she asked of the crowd of punks before her.

"Yes Your Majesty!" the assembled mass declared in unison.

"Then lets go get the bastards!" Her Majesty commanded, turning to face the gates and marching through them at the head of the crowd.

A chant started among the mobile infantry. They began singing their national anthem, off key, but loudly enough to be heard from a few blocks away. Anne and Billy tried, as many did, to keep close to Her Majesty in hopes of protecting her if possible. Billy joined the chant, but Anne stayed silent, not knowing the words to the song. Even alongside their new weapons, most still carried their cricket bats, shovels or broken boards. This was in no way an ordered military campaign. This was a riotous mob. Upon sight of their approach, the EU forces lined up, shields in place as they always did and prepared for their daily skirmish against swinging clubs and a few firebombs.  Once the enemy was in place and the stage was fully set, the Queen Mum raised her sword, swung it forward and gave her first battle order.

"Fire!" Her Majesty called out and all weapons opened upon the uniformed invaders. Seeing their enemies begin to fall at last, the punks were enthralled and began rushing forward into the fray. Falling back for the first time, the Eu forces began returning fire.

It went unnoticed due to the din of battle as Anne and Billy's forms began to shimmer and they disappeared.

"Did you get the tug?" Po called from the transporter room once he was sure he'd managed to get his missing crew members aboard.

"What's left of it," Twrgaath replied from the bridge.

"What happened?" the captain asked upon seeing the state of dress his engineer and liaison were in, "no, I don't want to know," he decided when Billy tried to speak, "we were never here, you were never there. You lost comm and nav in the tug and drifted until we picked you up," he declared angrily before stomping out of the room and leaving the pair to their confusion.

Back in uniform that evening, Billy sat on his bunk and looked at the neatly folded pile of clothes he'd worn on that parallel earth.

"Kind of wish I could go see how it ended," Anne offered as she stood in the liaison's doorway, back in uniform herself.

"Yeah, well," Billy moped, "can't even try or starfleet might get wind we been there already," he reminded his partner in crime.

"One thing still doesn't fit," the engineer mentioned questioningly.

"What's that?" Billy was drawn into the spider's little web.

"You never got high the whole time we were there. You never even thought about it," she admitted of her observation.

"Didn't need to," Billy half laughed, still distraught over being plucked away from what might have been his happily ever after.

Anne wandered away down the corridor, closing Billy's door as she left.

"God save the queen," the liaison sang quietly to himself with a smile, looking at the medal that he'd been given with his knighthood.